Having Cocktails...and Food

This is the Blog Post your Momma warned you about...........

Before I get going and people get all offended:  I am a Good Time Party Boy and most people that run in my circle know this.  I work hard, I coach Little League, I love and take care of My Family, I am never...NEVER stumbling over myself, and I like to think that the people that come here have a good time.  If you live your life different than mine, don't judge me for having a good time and I won't judge you for being somewhat unexciting and kind of dull.  Deal?  OK, then...Let's Bash.

The Menu will come in a minute, but first:  I am a Pinot Noir fan so I'm popping a bottle and getting a glass in my hand first thing and lighting off the Grill second.  People will be coming up the Front Porch soon.  Remember:  The Front Porch is for Hello's and Goodbyes.  The Back Porch is for the time in between.
Now, in my humble opinion, I like people to eat through the night since I love to cook through the night.  As I have said on many occasions, there are few things in life as personal as sharing sustenance and bringing people into the kitchen not only brings them closer but gets them food from the stove/grill, to the server, to the Hungry Visitors fresh.

A few jokes, turn and check something...a shot?  Sure!  Better get on with the appetizers, the coals are getting close........

Deep Fried Eggplant
This recipe serves four easily.  Multiply as needed for more people.  Start this about 40 minutes before you need it...you'll see why.

1 large Eggplant
1 cup flour
2 cups Italian Bread Crumbs
1 egg
3 tbsp water
2 cups tomato or marinara sauce (chunky is best)
Course Sea salt or Kosher salt
1/4 fresh grated Parmesan
Canola oil for deep frying

Cut the eggplant into 1/2 in. slices and then cut them into half circles.  Sprinkle lightly with salt and place on a rack over the sink or over a baking sheet.  What you're doing here is drawing some of the water out of the eggplant.  If you don't, the eggplant will be somewhat mushy after its fried and, in some cases, it helps get the bitter taste out of them.  Wait 20 minutes, flip, and repeat.
Pour the flour into a large (1 gallon) zip-top bag, drop in the "Cured" eggplant and coat.  Get the oil heating up for the frying.  You want to fry these hard and fast at about 350-375 degrees.
Mix egg and water and whisk thoroughly for an egg wash.  Roll the floured eggplant in the egg wash and immediately place in another zip-top bag containing the Italian bread crumbs and shake.  Only do as many as you can fry in one batch.  Deep Frying Time.
Deep fry until Golden Brown and place either on a rack or on paper towels (One TV person says that paper towel is a sin.  I'll explain why he is a twit later but paper towels will do just fine).  While smoking hot, sprinkle with Parmesan cheese instead of salt and serve with hot, chunky, marinara or tomato sauce.
Its always fun serving this to people that have never had eggplant.  They usually order it at their local Eatery after they've had mine.  Remember, Daddy said "It's not bragging if you can back it up".

I can feel my ears getting a little warm.  That means that the Honey Bourbon is setting in.  "....and then the Parrot said "Ok, I give up, Where's the F***ing ship?"  That one got a few laughs..and a few faces buried in hands.  Good....good.  The Grill is hot and the coals are stout.  Just what I need for the Scallops

Seared Scallops
Good scallops are one of those things that are so good the way nature made them, the best you can do is just not screw them up.  Simplicity Rules Here.  This recipe covers about 4-5 people and still qualifies as an Appetizer.

8-10 Colossal Sea Scallops
Fresh, Homemade Garlic Butter
Sea Salt, Fresh Course Ground Pepper, and a well seasoned Cast Iron Frying pan.
Fresh Lemon wedges to finish.
Finely chopped parsley to garnish

Place cast iron pan on a raging hot grill and wait for it to get quite hot.  Salt and pepper your scallops on both sides.  When the pan is seriously hot, quickly add the garlic butter and just when its melted and starting turn a light, nutty brown, add the scallops.  This will immediately cool the pan and help prevent the butter from burning.
The scallops might stick a little.  If they do, leave them until they let go of the pan.  What you are looking for here is a crusty, seared scallop that almost has a crunch to it when you bite into them and a deep brown caramel color on the surface..  Once they release from the pan, flip and repeat.  The whole process takes no more than 10 minutes.  Pull them out, plate them up, blast a few squeezes of lemon over them, make them pretty with a sprinkle of parsley, and serve.
Again, this is a simple recipe.  Its the technique that you have to work on.  I can almost promise the novice cook will not get the sear right the first time.  Hell, I didn't.  No worries as even a improperly cooked scallop is still good.

 If this guy says "Roll Tide" one more time, I swear by The Beard of Zeus I will hang the largest Maize and Blue Michigan flag I can find on the side of his house so all his Bama friends can see it.  Bah, no big deal, just get him another beer and let him be.  After all, as long as he's not talking Football, he's an OK Joe.  "Seriously?  You've never had this?  Dude, this stuff is fantastic.  I know it sounds weird, but you're gonna love it.  Honey?  Could you hand me that plate in the front of the fridge and my glass of wine. please?  Thanks, Babe!"

Seared Blue Fin Tuna
Again, this is so simple in its ingredients, you just have to make sure you don't ruin what Nature has given you.

One Raging Hot Grill
Pink Himalayan Sea Salt
Blue Fin Tuna trimmed to rectangles about 1" X 1" X 4"
Black Truffle Oil
Black Sesame Seeds

Grind sea salt to a fine consistency and LIGHTLY salt the fish.  Let this sit for just a moment.  Make two plates.  One with a light coating of Black Truffle Oil (about 1/16 in deep) and the other with a thick layer of Black Sesame Seeds.  Coat the tuna in oil by rolling it and then let the excess drain off for a moment.  Then roll in the sesame seeds to cover all sides leaving the ends bare.
Now, when I say a hot grill, I mean the coals have been stacked up to be about an inch below the grill surface (Oh, you're using propane?  Sucks to be you.) and let the grill surface get smoking hot.  Quickly apply the tuna, count to ten, and then with a long pair of tongs to keep your hands from spontaneously combusting, flip and count to ten.  Continue until all sides are seared.
When you cut into this, there should be a ring of about 1/8 in. cooked and the rest as rare as Nature provided.  Some like to dip this in light soy as a sauce.  I prefer to just dive in and go with it.  The rare tuna, the oil, the sesame seeds...Man, thats all I need.
One more time:  This is about technique.  Practice makes perfect and your mistakes are still freakin' tasty.

"Another one?  Nah, I have to get this thing finished and I'm about wiped out.  Yeah, I've been running all day and then we decided to do this thing at the last minute.  Ahh, what the Hell...like Gina says, 'We can sleep when were dead', right?  Pour another one and see if anyone else wants to join us.  (yelling) Y'all are still hungry, right?"

BBQ Steak on a Stick
This has to be prepped a few hours in advance and the longer, the better.  Although I am a "Steak Purist" most of the time, I have found that all normal rules that apply to certain foods are thrown out the window when you put said food on a stick.
**Writers Note:  This recipe can be accomplished with any quality steak, however, I use Chuck Eye Steaks.  We call them "Cheap Steaks" at the House.  Its a cheap cut of meat, its well marbled, has a nice fat layer, and you can get 3 nice steaks for about $5.00.  You can use Ribeye or T-bone but there is no sense in spending a fortune when this little gem of a cut works so nicely.

4 Chuck Eye Steaks, cut into 1 in. wide strips (about 12-16 strips)
1 large Vidalia or other sweet onion cut into large wedges
1 cup Off the Shelf BBQ sauce of your choice
1/2 cup Muscato White Wine
1/4 cup Light Soy Sauce
1/4 cup Honey (Dark is preferred)
Pinch of Salt
1 tsp Ground Black Pepper plus 2 tbsp Fresh Cracked Pepper
Bamboo Skewers soaked in water or metal skewers

Whisk BBQ sauce, Muscato, Soy, and ground pepper together.  Place steak strips and onion wedges in a zip-top bag, add marinate, and soak...for hours.  Assemble skewers by adding onion wedge, then steak strip, and top it with another onion wedge.
Brush with honey and sprinkle with cracked pepper and place on a grill that has coals cooked down about half way (again, if you're using propane you are so missing out).  The onions wedges will keep the steak about 1/2 in off the grill and allow the meat to cook just a touch slower than directly applying it.  This will along with the honey and cracked pepper will allow the meat to develop a bit of a crust.  Grill about 5 minutes on each side or until the desired level of done is achieved (Please, no well done...Please).   Either remove from skewers and plate or serve on the stick.  Either presentation looks great.

By this point in the night, everyone is feeling slightly tilted, I smell like Grill Smoke (which is the cologne fragrance I will create when I become famous), the Girls are laughing at the guys, and no one wants dessert...which is a shame because Gina spent a good deal of time cutting strawberries.  That just means they will be there for French Toast in the morning...Oh, Darn.  I look in the kitchen and Gina has been following me all night, cleaning up behind me.  She rocks.
The Girls are yelling at the Guys that its time to go.  The Guys are still swapping lies out back and shooting a look inside to see how aggravated the Girls are getting but everyone is still laughing.  As everyone heads out, the Fellas are the last off the Front Porch and, for no reason that can be explained, they break into the only Doors song that everyone knows....

"Oh, show me the way to the next Whiskey Bar...Oh, Don't ask why, Oh, don't ask why."
"If we don't find our way to the next Whiskey Bar...Surely, we must die, Surely, we must die.........."

You know what?  As I read back over this, maybe it didn't happen just the way I described.  Maybe the story is a bit different here or there and I just "Polished" it to suit what I think it should have been.  One way or another, I know for certain that everyone left full, they left laughing, and those that Indulged all passed the exit ramp to Sober a few hours back...and that, Dear Friends, is all that matters.

Party Well, Eat Better
Rob