The Breakfast After

"How about a nice piece of greasy salt pork served in a dirty ash tray?" - Bill Paxton as "Chet" in Weird Science.

Friends over for cocktails.  Thats how it always starts.  Last night was one of those nights that started off with the best of intentions...to cook for a friend of ours in the Community while her husband was at a baseball game.  Everything was going swimmingly until I realized that she had brought my Arch-Nemesis:  Chocolate Vodka.  Thats a bit of a lie as I asked if she was brining it.  Anyway you look at it, it was a bad idea and stack that on top of my having a busy weekend and being quite tired, I didn't last much past dinner.

Now, in the throws of The Day After one ponders the breakfast that is always required after such Cocktail Fueled Events, however, there are choices to be made and if you would like to go simple, that's cool.  After all, there was alot of energy expended last night and after coffee hits that rather touchy stomach, a few slices of bacon might be all you want. 

Then again, you may be in the same position I am:  I realize that I am going to be very unproductive today and willingly admit that after breakfast is done and one more Blog Post is in the books, my tired, slightly hungover self will end up on the couch for the remainder of the day...until dinner, of course.  With that said, let us explore this mornings Brunch options.  They are:

Mimosa's
Seacoast Eggs Benedict
The French Toast from Hell

Mimosa's

Equal parts champagne or sparkling wine and orange juice.  You may wish to wet the rim of the champagne flute and dust it with confectioners sugar, but that's up to you.  Depending on the day and the hangover, you may wish to spike that with just a pinch of vodka but, again, that's up to you.  Another interesting approach is to use Ruby Red Grapefruit juice instead of orange.  Its just an interesting twist.

I put this here simply because brunch just isn't brunch without Mimosa's.  It also helps with that "Next Day" feeling.  Now, after a one or two of these, its time for food.

Seacoast Eggs Benedict

The last sales job I had was very stressful.  I worked for an idiot who thought degradation and yelling were motivational tools.....until he got fired for being, well, an idiot.  In the middle of said sales job, we took a much needed break and headed for Panama City Beach, FL which is commonly referred to as the Redneck Riviera.  I can't remember the name of the condos we stayed at but after a weekend of way to many cocktails and stress relief, we ate Sunday Breakfast at one of the resorts many restaurants.  As soon as I saw this on the menu, it was on order.  It was a simple variation on classic Eggs Benedict (if you aren't familiar with Eggs Benedict it is, from the bottom up:  a toasted English muffin, one slice of Canadian bacon, a poached egg, topped with hollandaise sauce), however, in place of the Canadian bacon was a jumbo lump crab cake...and once I ate it, I would have whacked a Mafia Don to get another one. 

The Crab Cake

You can pick any recipe for crab cakes that you like and apply it here.  Some folks prefer the cakes with more breading some don't.  Personally, I want crab, Crab, CRAB flavor with hints off the seasoning in the background.

2 cups Jumbo Lump Crab Meat
3-4 Club crackers crushed very well
1 egg white (this is optional but helps hold it together.  If you use this, save the yolk)
1 Tbsp finely chopped chives or green onions
1 Tsp finely diced pimento
1/2 teaspoon prepared course or wholegrain mustard
1 Light dash of Hot Sauce
Pinches of sea salt and cracked pepper to taste

Drain and pick the crab meat for missed shell fragments being careful not to break up the lumps and toss in the cracker crumbs.  Again ,do whatever you can to not dismantle the lump meat.

In a separate bowl, whisk the remaining ingredients together.  Pour over the lump crab meat and LIGHTLY toss it with a rubber spatula.  I really don't think I need to say it again but...Do Not bust up the crab meat.  There, I said it.

Let this sit for just a minute or two to let all flavors come together, form into 4" wide by 1" thick patties.  Pan fry on medium heat in a light oil such as canola oil until lightly browned.

The Hollandaise Sauce

A simple recipe, to be sure but a good one none the less.

1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup cream
2 egg yolks, beaten (this is why you saved the yolk from before)
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
salt to taste
pinch of cayenne pepper
pinch of paprika

Melt butter in the top of a double boiler. Stir in cream and beaten egg yolks. Whisk together. Add salt and lemon juice. Cook over boiling water in a double boiler until mixture thickens, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat and beat with a whisk until light. Stir in cayenne pepper and paprika if desired.

The Poached Egg

Poaching an egg is as simple as slowly submerging an egg in hot water but there are a few tricks that will make it perform just a bit better.

1)  Add a few tablespoons of white vinegar to the water.  This helps the egg set faster and helps keep it from falling apart.
2)  Use simmering water.  Boiling water will tear the egg apart no matter how much vinegar you use.
3)  I like using a metal soup ladle to introduce the egg.  Crack the egg into the ladle and slowly dip it into the water letting the water come over the edges until the egg slides out.

When the egg white has solidified entirely, its done.  You want the yolk to still be very loose or "Runny".

Assemble it, again, from the bottom up:  Well toasted and buttered English Muffin, crab cake, poached egg, top with Hollandaise, garnish with a pinch of sweet paprika and finely chopped parsley.  Done.  Seacoast Eggs Benedict.

The French Toast....from HELL!!!!

I walked by them for some time noticing their existence but leaving them be.  Every time I pass, I look but dare not touch since they are the favorites of more people in this house than me.  After a few days I realize that no one is going finish the last 4-5 Krispy Kritter doughnuts that are now, quite stale, but still far from going over to the Dark Side.  So I take a bread knife to them and this is what they become.......

French Toast from Hell

3 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1/4 heavy cream
1 tsp vanilla extract (use the good stuff)
1 tsp Orange Flavored Liquor (again, use the good stuff)
1 tsp cinnamon
Pinch of salt and sugar

Whisk all of this together and quite well or use the immersion blender to make sure it is well blended.

Cut the tops and bottoms off of 6-10 Krispy Kritter doughnuts and soak in egg mixture for about a minute or just a bit longer.  Flip and repeat.  Over medium heat, fry french toast using butter until golden brown.  Serve with any syrup you like or make one.  It is quite simple but I'll leave that for another day.

 Take the above breakfast options as exactly what they are: A confirmation that you didn't do quite enough damage to yourself the night before so that you have room to do just a bit more destruction the following day. 

Now, if you don't mind, the unmistakable Siren's Song of the couch calls.  It speaks to me in a language that only I can hear and tells me that hours of comfort and luxury await me and all I have to do is submit and close my eyes...until I have to finish that Taco Spice order cause its due tomorrow and I still have to get 30 packets together, including packaging, and printing and that I should probably do that before I get neck deep in dinner since dinner will be complicated (I'm thinking something with shrimp) as it always is.

Party Well and Eat Even Better,
Rob